What does it mean
To be
To be - out of time
To be - out of space
What becomes of us
When we are no more
In this place
Perhaps we die
Decomposing to become
Manure for the trees
Food for the worms
Or maybe, just maybe
We never really die
Perhaps we remain alive
Through the words we spoke
And the lives we touched
Leaving echoes of us
Rippling in essence
Of time, of life
Of everything
The immortal flap
Of a butterfly’s wing.
30 AND COUNTING
0 Was for nothing and not knowing
Gasping and blind groping
It was for cries and sleep
Simplicity and peace
2 Was for the shedding
The awakening into a slumber
It was for mastery
Of the art of wake walking
5 Was for the splinter
The shimmering of a notion
The invitation of mirages
It was for a sort of sowing
A silent seed
9 Was the beginning
Though I did not know it
It was about creation
Me, trying to build something
Me, trying to build a me
15 Was for the mirror
Reflections on what I had made
Who I had become
It was my last real glance
At the face of innocence
20 Was for looking back
At the carnage that is growing up
It was for the ache of heartbreaks
And disenchantment with reality
It was for the taste of salt and a slap of vinegar
23 Was for a crack, the crack
I should have never plucked that splinter!
It was for the death of me
And the agony of placelessness
It was for the falling of scales
The birth of new eyes
28 Was for acceptance
That we are all equally lost
Holding onto whatever we have to
That it is okay to hold on
To things, ideas, or people
30 Is for the becoming
Taking firms steps
And staring at the face of destiny
It is for the flashing of swords
And the slaying of dragons.
PAIN OF NUMBNESS
I want to feel
The pain
Of being pulled
Limb by limb
By wild beasts
Whipped
With razor wires
I want to feel
My lungs
Flooding with freezing water
From the inside
Till I gouge at my chest
Peeling flesh
And scratching bone
I want to feel
My feet
My naked feet
Walking over molten rocks
Hissing with pouring lava
I want to feel a six inch nail
Being driven into my fucking skull
A needle, pressed into my eye!
I want to feel all this pain
And then a thousand more
A million more
More, more, more
I want to feel
Something
Anything,
But this
....
This nothingness.
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